The passing of Amanda Todd in B.C. has brought to light, once again, the drastic effects of bullying. Where bullying has a new layer because of the internet and social media, increasing the reach of the bully, these aspects also have extended the reach of a person asking for help.
Amanda Todd is an example of the 'Sext-Up Kids' CBC's DocZone featured earlier this month. She is an example of a victim of bullying. She is an example of a victim of cyber-bullying. She is an example of a teen who attempted suicide. She is an example of a teen who used YouTube as a means to help self-heal and ask for help. Sadly, she is also an example of a teen who fell victim to suicide.
The life and death of Amanda is horrific. The sadness expressed across social media is prolific. However, they are too late to save Amanda.
Something more than mouthing words and shaking heads has to be done. Check out the Facebook page created after a pre-teen found a note on her locker suggesting ways she could take her own life. It is titled "Death note left in school locker". Consider the words of a Geoff Adams [language warning] that circulated Facebook recently who calls for action against bullying while it is happening, not after-the-fact.
The real issue is that bullying is only an extreme measure of socialization. We often hear that is one function of schooling - socialization. Isn't that what bullies are doing? They pick on the kids who stand out for whatever reason. They serve as a function of creating a society commonality. We would like to think the 90 pound weakling is the only target, but that is not always the case.
Truthfully, we have all played a role in bullying - we either bullied, were bullied or assisted bullying through inaction. Some of us played all three roles.If you think you were not bullied because of our personality, consider which other role you played. Until we can come to terms about our own part in the process we are never going to end the torment. Once we get to the underlying issues, we can break it all down to rebuild it.
Amanda Todd is an example of the 'Sext-Up Kids' CBC's DocZone featured earlier this month. She is an example of a victim of bullying. She is an example of a victim of cyber-bullying. She is an example of a teen who attempted suicide. She is an example of a teen who used YouTube as a means to help self-heal and ask for help. Sadly, she is also an example of a teen who fell victim to suicide.
The life and death of Amanda is horrific. The sadness expressed across social media is prolific. However, they are too late to save Amanda.
Something more than mouthing words and shaking heads has to be done. Check out the Facebook page created after a pre-teen found a note on her locker suggesting ways she could take her own life. It is titled "Death note left in school locker". Consider the words of a Geoff Adams [language warning] that circulated Facebook recently who calls for action against bullying while it is happening, not after-the-fact.
The real issue is that bullying is only an extreme measure of socialization. We often hear that is one function of schooling - socialization. Isn't that what bullies are doing? They pick on the kids who stand out for whatever reason. They serve as a function of creating a society commonality. We would like to think the 90 pound weakling is the only target, but that is not always the case.
Truthfully, we have all played a role in bullying - we either bullied, were bullied or assisted bullying through inaction. Some of us played all three roles.If you think you were not bullied because of our personality, consider which other role you played. Until we can come to terms about our own part in the process we are never going to end the torment. Once we get to the underlying issues, we can break it all down to rebuild it.
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Thanks for sharing this Shelley - I have been trying to get in touch with my thoughts on bullying. It's tougher than I first thought! I have personal feelings, as a victim of some pretty harsh bullying as a child and young adult. I was viciously singled out by a large number of students in my school and can admit now that I viewed suicide as an option at times. I was also lucky to have some great people in my life and found ways to overcome my isolation. At the same time, I was not innocent in all of it which was a very hard fact to face as I grew up. I did sometimes fight back just as viciously and I will be the first to admit that my personality is not for everyone! I'm a little "scrappy" sometimes. The only advice people ever gave me was to "just ignore them" which was difficult when they were smearing insults with ketchup on the side of my home. It was difficult in those moments to remember that I did have value to others and that this too would pass. I think that school's have come a long way in recognizing bullying and dealing with these issues on a daily basis. I suppose I was one of the lucky ones that succeeded despite (or perhaps because of) these experiences.
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher I see the complexity of bullying in schools and I try to safe guard students from bullying. I also see how adults can be bullies. I think that we are quick to point fingers at children and say that they are the only ones that can be bullies or victims of them. It's not true. If you look at our political system you will find a lot of behaviour that looks like bullying. I think that as adults we need to model better behaviours and I would go so far as to say that we need to model compassion and empathy better because those are the ingredients that will combat bullying in the long run.
Thanks Settermama :)
ReplyDeleteHonesty is the only way to solve issues for ourselves.
It is true that I have been in all three places in the bully scenario. I tried to teach my children to try to help the victims they saw when I realized the part I played as bully and as facilitating by-stander. My experiences being bullied were never extreme.
Thank you for sharing your story. I completely agree that we need to model, teach and encourage compassion and empathy.